US President George W. Bush has resigned after he blew his fortune playing at online poker table. Recently appointed White House Chief of Bluff announced that Mr. Bush made unprecedented move – he wrote formal letter of resignation having lost funds equivalent to his family’s ranch in Texas to an online gambling house. George Bush was unwilling to comment on the situation (being apparently not sober) after it became clear he had spent about $5 million in total, playing POKER, a kind of game that he seems to lack the skills for…
US President resigns after disastrous gambling in online poker room
American President blows his fortune at online poker table, unexpectedly resigns.
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The news about sensational resignation of US President George W. Bush was announced by Joshua B. Bolten, who takes over April 15 as White House Chief of Staff but has been already employed as White House Chief of Bluff.
George Bush was unwilling to neither appear in White House nor comment on the situation after it became apparent he had spent about $5 million in total at Piggs Peak Poker, playing online poker, a kind of game that Mr. Bush still seems to lack the skills for, despite both his online poker nicknames, GodOnErth and The_STRONGEREST.
Referring to a source in White House, GamblingGates.com Editor Alex Cup says Mr. Bush intends to start what he seems to dream of: walk away from politics to travel throughout California, New Mexico and his native Texas, master Spanish language to fluency with immigrants as well as play golf with Tiger Woods – all that instead of poker (what a miserable replacement!).
World's mixed reaction.
Different parts of the world have found themselves in either shock or joy after online gambling with Piggs had brought Mr. Bush into desperate situation with resignation as the only way out. Surprisingly, the dividing line between these two states was nations' attitude towards gambling.
In Europe, Russia, China and Japan first common reaction has turned out to be nothing else but saying US foreign policy under outgoing President was just permanent gambling on America's role as the only global superpower. Unsuccessful high stake gambling and bluff, many add.
In the meanwhile, millions of people in Black Africa demonstrated in support of Dr. Condoleeza Rice as successor of Mr. Bush. "Ms. Condoleeza for President", reads a huge poster with her portrait and dozens of exclamation marks, installed in front of US embassy in Senegal. However, Vice President Dick Cheney is the first in the queue for US presidency. His first statement as US Acting President was: "America is a stronge nation blessed by gold, and we will deliver the goods whoever helms us or US."
As Europe, ex-USSR and Israel seem to meet the news with a mixture of sadness and anxiety, a number of capitals in Middle East start celebrating the news by a new series of explosions – blasts of people’s joy and mass festive demonstrations.
Iraqis were among the first to react. "Bush, you're loser, go away", 10,000-strong crowd chanted during a demonstration in Baghdad, which ended peacefully, whereas thousands of Iranians, encouraged by clericks, gathered in streets and packed change into sacks "to send to Mr. Bush as a consolation prize." Was it unjust of George Bush to keep hard line towards Iran?
Online poker, pigs and terrorists: links and URLs being investigated by GamblingGates.com.Taking into consideration the alternative name of Poker333.com, the poker site that Mr.Bush lost to - Piggs Peak Poker, GamblingGates.com expert believes that Mr. Bush’s record loss to Piggs in poker may has been arranged by a group of Chinese hackers hired by Usama bin Laden spies, famous for their abhorrence of pigs and pork. World terrorism No.1 sponsor apparently hopes that this historical loss will stir up global hatred towards pigs and pork shared by all Muslims.
The other version being offered by GamblingGates.com is that the largest beef producers and suppliers may have been behind the gambling plot that lead to Mr. Bush’s loss, as they are still desperate to restore their market positions after the mad cow disease crisis, at the expense of their competitors producing pork...
But were all these plans a truly successful bet? . This tricky kind of gambling is particularly risky, because the opposite side would be celebrating as the winner of a massive jackpot in a while… Instead, we urge those guys to try their luck in gambling, to make this planet safer, cleaner and healthier.
There is no need to go to Vegas – get online and enjoy playing from the leisure of your home or cave!
Conclusion by GamblingGates.com:
GamblingGates.com wishes the best of luck to online gamblers all over the Net and particularly to US President Mr. George W. Bush whose administration still keeps rather moralistic stance towards online gambling! We urge them to try online poker, slots or blackjack, just to have some fun and test their skills (they must have ones, GamblingGates.com knows for sure...).
Congratulations on April 1! GamblingGates.com has compiled this page having inhaled some laughing gas, just to keep you entertained.
