A Scottish sailor went out to sea. At some point, there was a problem and the ship went down. The sailor was lucky enough to make it to a nearby deserted island, but he immediately passed out. He was exhausted and collapsed. His last lingering thought was that he didn't know how long he would survive for, since the island seemed desolate and did not have much to offer. His eyes closed and unconsciousness enveloped him for what seemed like a long while.
When he woke up, he was greeted by the sight of a beautiful woman. She was wearing only a grass skirt. She was beautiful and he was extremely attracted to her. He was amazed when she opened her mouth and the voice of an angel came out. "Are you hungry?" She asked the sailor. He was, so he said as much. "Very". The truth was he was famished. He hadn't eaten since long before the ship went down and it felt like he had been asleep for quite some time. She quickly disappeared and then reemerged before the sailor, offering him a pie and some chips to eat. The beautiful young woman also brought a newspaper with her for the sailor to read; it was the paper from that very same day. He was amazed and intrigued.
Before too long, she asked the sailor if he was thirsty. Even more hopefully than before, the sailor answered "Very"! The lady disappeared again as she did the first time. When she came back, she was carrying a bottle of alcohol; a bottle of fine, aged single malt whisky. After she presented him with it, he took a long swig. He could not believe that the day could get any better. He was being treated like a king, and here he was on his very own personal tropical island! He was alone with a beautiful woman, delicious food and a good drink. No man on earth could be as happy as he was right now. He looked over at his hostess with admiration and lust. She was perfect.
Rubbing against him, the girl said, "And finally, my love, how would you feel about playing around a bit?" All of a sudden the sailor sat up quickly and looked around in amazement. His breath came out in excited gasps.
"Don't even tell me that you have got golf clubs and a set of snooker clubs around here as well?!"